A Moose in Moose's Clothing

The new jerseys came in! They look great, and as soon as I have a picture, I'll try and post one. They are a goldish sort of yellow, with a black and green logo, and black and white trim and edging.
Not only did we have a new look for last night's contest, but we had a new look for last night's contest. We shuffled people around a little, moving one of the big Moose from defense to wing, and we played more of the game in our opponents end. We did not get as many shots on net as we'd like, but we did get shots on net enough to get 3 goals, which is an improvement for us.

Our opponents managed 3 goals of their own, the first of which was my fault. I got caught a little to far to center (about 6" off my angle), when I should have been further left. I got beat short side past the glove, which is not a place people generally score on me. The other two were weird, bouncy things that came in off pace. I made all the "hard saves." Sort of frustrating, actually.

But, a tie is not a loss as much as it's not a win. A point is a point, and I'll take one over none any day. The Moose now have an unbeaten streak of two games, which is a record. For us anyway.

The new stats:
Team GAA 4.38
My GAA 4.25
Team GFA 2.31

The numbers are moving slower than I'd like, but they are moving in the right direction.

Every Moose Has His Day!

It had to happen sooner or later: some poor team would be the unlucky ones to be the first victims of the Moose. After 11 games of frustration, someone was going to get the antlers.

And they did.

The Michigan Moose finally have our first win.

As the head Moose pointed out, we tried everything we could to lose. It was an ugly game, with bad play, bad officiating, and lots of weird bouncing of pucks. But that's the way you break a losing streak: win ugly.

The victims were a bunch of old pals of mine, guys I have played hockey with for years. They are struggling with a team that is older and fading, we're struggling with a team that is new and inconsistent. Neither team played well. They got a couple of really bad goals on me, my defense tipped in what would have been an easy save... it was just a big cluster-Moose...

But in the end, it was 6-4 Moose. It was 2 points. When you added in my shutout point, it was enough to move us from last place, to second-to-last place. And that was just enough to make me feel pretty damn good.

Just Moosed Them

On the 17th, the Moose started round 2 of the season; that is, we'd played everyone, and we were starting through the list of opponents for the second time. That meant a game with my old friends, the Good Sports, who I've played for, and more often, against. They had been our first game of the season, and absolutely globbered us, to the tune of 4-11. (My GAA is still feeling that one, let me tell you...)

Round 2 was a little different. While they out chanced us, we kept some steady pressure on them, and were in it the whole game. I held them to 3 goals, which was pretty good, all things considered. The young guys on their team rang the posts over my shoulders on 4 or 5 occassions, which was both a little disconcerting, and very gratifying. A coach once told me that my job was to force players to make the perfect shot, and that the defense was responsible for not giving the shooter enough time to make the perfect shot. He also pointed out that if the only chance to score was on a perfect shot, most people would miss it most of the time. He was right. I gave them nothing low, and they missed the perfect shot high by just enough to get iron instead of twine.

We were not an offensive power (as usual), and only netted 2. The empty netter made it a 2-4 loss (at least that last one doesn't go on my average).

All things considered, going from an 11-4 loss to a 4-2 loss in 10 games, against the best team in the league isn't bad.

One of the guys from the Good Sports asked me after the game, "How are you guys not killing a bunch of teams in this league?!?" He was that impressed with our game. I asked, "How are you guys not in first place?" A week later, they were.

From now, until the end of the season, that's my target: to beat those guys.

Out Moosed Again!

Well, the tale of woe continues. The Moose have dropped another game, this time having been on the wrong end of a Mooseout, 0-4.

The game started tough, with our opponents getting 2 goals in the first. One was a second chance, the other, a shot through the defenseman's feet that went off the post and in. Neither were really bad goals by me, but it didn't help to start that way.

For the rest of the game, we were able to skate with our opponents, but we couldn't put the puck in the net. I held them, but out forwards just couldn't beat them.

Over half way through the third period, I had still only given up 2, which is really pretty good considering. Our opponents got the break when I lost track of the rebound, and my defenseman missed it, leaving and easy shot for the other team. The second was a freak deflection off my defenseman and the person he was tying up near the net.

We also had a member of the heard ejected, supposedly for spearing, although I suspect a bad call may have been made.

The Moose are now at 0-9-1.
Team GAA 4.60
My GAA 4.55
Team GFA 1.90

If we don't figure out a way to get that goals for up, we're not going to win many games...

Still Moosetified

Well, it's good news, bad news for the Moose.

The bad news first: we dropped a very close game last night, probably our best chance to get a win, with a 2-3 loss. The team we were playing had 6 guys, we had 8, which meant we should have been able to put at least some pressure on them by the end of the game. We did, but not enough. They scored a couple in the first on screen shots, one in the second on a great individual effort and shot, and then sat back for the third. I only faced two shots from below the hash marks in the third period; otherwise they sat back and dumped in or took the slap shot from the point. They were basically playing 2/3 of the ice, and forcing us to play all of it. They also moved their best players from forward to D, allowing them to both save on skating and to be there to face our best forward when he tried to break through. It was, almost, like being trapped: 3-4 skaters accross, maybe 1 forechecker (and maybe none at all), getting the puck from us in the neutral zone, dumping it in, repeating.

The first two goals I let in weren't great, but they weren't bad either. Both were shot through the legs of my D, and I picked up on them too late. The third was a perfect top corner shot, made while one of my D was hauling the guy down. The shooter only had a few square inches to hit over my shoulder, and he did. Every once in a while, you just have to give the other guy credit for a good shot.

There was good news for the Moose, however. We have a sponsor of sorts. A local business person has agreed to pick up the cost of our new jerseys in return for a little advertising. He will get his logo accross the bottom back of the new sweaters, and we'll get the new sweaters. Not a bad deal for either of us, really. Once the whole thing is done, and we have sweaters in hand, I'll mention who it was that bought them, just so folks know.

The new numbers:
my GAA 4.625
team GAA 4.66
team GFA 2.11
and a record of 0-8-1

At some point, we will win one by luck. Or maybe forfeit. It's just a matter of time.

Moosetistics

A few Moose stats:

My GAA over first 7 games: 4.86
Team GAA over 8 games: 4.88
Team GFA over 8 games: 2.13
Overall Record through 8 games: 0-7-1

Not exactly a prestegious start. (sigh)

Mooseout

You could almost hear the chants: "Moose! - Sieve! - Moose! - Sieve!"

The Michigan Moose posted our first ever shutout last night, a 0-0 tie, which also gives the Moose our first ever point in our hockey league.

The team we faced was skilled, although a little chippy at times. I got run just a couple minutes into the game, and regularly from there on out, as well as slashed a good number of times. None of it was the kind of thing that would hurt someone, just the kind of thing guys do to try and piss you off. (Which it did, although it didn't slow me down.)

The opposing team had 3 guys that used to play for me on it. It was nice to see them, even if it was on opposite sides of the puck. All 3 made a good, and pretty clean, effort. I had stops on all of them, including a big glove save on the guy that captained the team I used to run to 2 league championships. I have a pretty high degree of respect for these guys' playing ability, so shutting them out was a big deal.

My team was also stupendous. The father and son team on D were on fire all night, blocking shots, moving rebounds. My other D were also extremely solid, including one fine block that I know is gonna leave a mark on the fella that made it. He toughed it out, and was back on the ice a shift after taking a hit so hard that it put him down on the ice.

I closed the game out with about a minute and a half of solid shots, the only time my team really struggled and scared me. Durring that series, I had to stop one off the ol' antlers, uh, I mean, head. The shooter laughed in the hand-shake line, and said the only thing that could have gotten in the way of that shot was my head, and it did.

I got some very warm congratulations from my team, as well as nice words from the reffs and the young woman running the clock. I also got a nice cold beer from the manager after. Few better ways to end a day than a shutout, hot shower, and cold beer.

Mooseconduct

Well, the trials and tribulations of the Michigan Moose goes on. Tonight, we played one of the better teams and lost. It ended up 2-6, which wasn't too bad considering that we had 7 skaters to their 15. I also am coining a new hockey term: Mooseconduct.

Mooseconduct: Pronounciation: - Moose - Con - Duck!(t) -- Function: noun -- The mocking, ridicule and general harrassment of an opponent who has proven to be such an intolerable asshole as to warrant said public humiliation. The purpose of Mooseconduct is to encourage idiots to expose their inner numb-skull for the world to see, resulting in them collecting penalties to which they are due. See also "to Moose:" (verb) the act of committing Mosseconduct.

Example: An idiot on the opposing team decided to lay a slash on me a few minutes into the game. This numb-nuts backed into me as I was at the top of my crease, and I put my glove hand on his back and gave him a shove. Not the kind of shove that knocks someone to the ice, just a "Hey, get outta my blue ice" kind of shove. This guy feels someone bump him, and he takes a swing, blindly, with his stick, up in my face. That was just not cool. So, I laid the lumber on him.

Even though he'd swung first, he was incensed. Quite angry, in fact. He said some hurtful things that ended with "He fuckin' two handed me!," then demanded the reffs do something. So they told him to shut up. One broke into a laugh, and pointed out that it would be pretty hard for me, a goalie, to "two hand" anyone. He then turned to me and said with a grin, "Come on, goalie, lay off the old man."

I'm not sure the age reference was appreciated. A play later, the guy slashed me after I froze a puck (and one of my defensemen assisted the cranky fellow into a comfortably prone position, lying on the net). All the while, he was screaming about getting "two handed." He just wouldn't let up.

Enter, Mooseconduct.

I pointed out that his complaints sounded like the words of a very cross and whiney female person. I also suggested that he probably secured his roster spot due to his talent for fellatio rather than hockey, and said he might want to return to the bench and persue that calling. I offered this advice loudly, as we all lined up for a faceoff, just to make sure that we were all on the same page, and to give his bigger, younger team mates a chance to step in if they wanted to. No use having to repeat myself again later, eh? I saw that my advice was having the desired affect (he was a really neat shade of purple, and visibly grinding his teeth by this time), so I added some helpful pantomimes that I won't even try to describe here.

Despite all my efforts, he didn't seem to appreciate the help. Apparently he just feels he has another calling in life. That calling turns out to be the fine art of buffoonery. He couldn't hold an edge or execute a decent stop to save his dignity, and tumbled to the ice frequently. He tried taking a run at my defensemen (all over 6 feet, all over 200 lbs), and bounced off them. He tried a run at the one female player on our team (the only player his size), and got the worst of things from her too.

By the end of the night, he was spending so much time stumbling, ranting, and falling, that none of us had to go within 10 feet of him. He would just freak out, lose his balance, and slam himself into things. It was, really, very amusing. One of the officials suggested that his need of practice was more likely to blame for his falls than any action of his opponents. He rejected this advice in such absolute and vociferous terms that the officials offered him a special seat, just to make it up to him. Then another. And another. About 15 minutes worth of special sitting, actually.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Hey, it's not nice to do that. Questioning someone's, uhm, private conduct, references to reproductive organs, mimed instructions for performing sex acts. Very juvenile. Not a nice thing to do.

I, however, explained it to my team mates like this: the man was clearly such a knuckle-dragger, such an obnoxious neanderthal, that the opportunity couldn't be passed up. I knew that a couple of simple, off color comments, especially if they seemed to question his sexuality, would just freak this guy right out of his gord. And it did. And you know what? He deserved it. He shouldn't have swung at me. It was unnecessary. It cost him 50+ minutes of being mocked, laughed at, and ridiculed. Then it cost him a stay in the box, and some nice misconducts for verbally abusing the officials. Not one of his team mates defended his conduct, or stepped in to challenge me on his behalf. Not one. Must be a popular fellow, that one.

And I? I plead guilty to Mooseconduct.

Flopping Carp Can't Save Moose

My buddy, Flopping Carp (an old inside joke, not a comment on his ability), picked up the last Moose game for me while I was out of town.

Carp is at that point where he's getting too good for Never or D, but hasn't had much time in C yet. I've been pushing him to the other locals as a sub in C to help him get time and meet people, and from what I hear back, he's doing ok for himself. The jump from Never or D to C is huge; C is the first level where the teams really care about the results, where managers really "build" teams, and where you even have a few sponsors that care what happens. It's also the catch-all league, so you get D players struggling to move up, A and B players that are recovering from injurries, slumming with friends, or just looking for extra ice time to stay sharp. I always describe C this way: a guy gets the puck and winds up for the shot, and when the stick comes down, the puck might come at you bouncing like a bad ground ball, or it might come at your head at 90mph... you just don't know.

So, into this mess, I threw poor Carp, to face the number one team in the league. The result was a 2-5 loss, in which Carp said he'd like a couple of the goals back, but that we would still have lost. In fact, after talking to some others, it turns out that one of our two goals went in through a hole in the back of the net, and shouldn't have counted. Taking out all the "should and shouldn't haves," that would still leave us with a 1-3 loss.

I give him credit, though. Carp stood in there, and it sounds like he's ready for more. That's good, since I will need to have a reliable sub on and off for the rest of the season.

Tonight, the Moose return to action with yours truly in net. Should be interesting to see if a two week break helped my game or killed it.